Manifesting a Dream
I am headed to India in about a week! It will be a Spiritual Journey with one of my teachers, Dandapani. This adventure is a huge opportunity for transformation, and I have anticipated a trip to India since high school! A few weeks ago, Dandapani sent an email with this, "I would like for each of you to have a clear intention for this journey. Just one thing that you want to work on. Over the next six weeks reflect on this and write down what it is. You could pick something that you have been struggling with for a while – something that you’ve tried to change within you but have not been able to. You could also pick something that you would like to attain in your life – a change of perspective on a certain area or a realization of what your purpose in life is or defining the next phase of your life. Whatever it is you choose you have to be crystal clear about it."
(Long silent pause due to an overwhelming, "Where Do I even Start???")
Here is my crack at it - after weeks of trying to figure out what to work on: my various fears, insecurities, annoying habits, procrastinating, blah blah blah.....Sure, I have so much to work on internally - we all do, constantly - but I am very vigilant (and so is my husband) in calling out my BS and getting down and dirty with truth when I head down the road of mechanical behavior and act like an A-hole. I don't think I really need to take any of this to India with me - I want to work on something extra special.
I want to work on something that will set my soul ablaze with passion and also allow me to be a better human, wife, teacher, servant, and student to everyone around me.
It all boils down to a single question: What do I want in life?
There are 2 big things that come up - and I am so incredibly fortunate to have a big bold check mark next to the top box: "Love."
Number two on the list is super important, too: "I want to teach Yoga."
Yes, of course I want to teach yoga in a climate that never drops below 75 degrees, under a thatched roof yoga shala or balancing on a paddle board surrounded by crystal blue water. But that is not what I mean when I say I want to teach YOGA. Of course that would be grand, a million day dreams come true, but what I want to offer to others that I am privileged to teach is more powerful than any arm balance perfectly balanced on a gently rolling paddle board...
I want to share the powerful transformation that was shared with me by my teacher and all of the amazing and painful transformations and growth that yoga has fostered within me as a person. I want to give others an opportunity to be utterly destroyed and cracked wide open, to witness their undoing and unravel at the seams - and see that underneath all of the externally tarnished walls and barricades, the tales of judgment and expectations, the disappointments and grudges and lifetime of bullshit that has accumulated on the surface and mucked up their souls, that the only thing that remains after the destruction is their unyielding, unstoppable, undeniable truth: LOVE and LIGHT. Freedom. Bliss. PEACE.
I want others to recognize themselves in everything in this world that leaves them awe struck. To discover that nothing is needed, nothing is lacking, nothing is separate - that they are completely whole and perfect and contain unlimited potential.
I want to facilitate a space for students to come back to themselves. To recognize what is already there - just waiting for them to see it.
For this specific intention - I want guidance on manifesting my dream and fulfilling (what I believe) to be my purpose: Realize the next step in the journey or if there is a new path to take; Discover more teaching opportunities; Cultivate the courage necessary to host a yoga retreat; Buckle down on my own practice and studies... Maybe even complete an advanced teacher training?
I am pretty much game for anything. I am open and ready to see what the next step of the journey is - what I need to do, what I need to sacrifice or what part of me needs further destroying to become a better servant to the rest of the world.
Whatever the next chapter is, whatever the next hurdle may be, something is going to be revealed in India - I just know it.